Do Not Worry, this is Just a Test – Had it been an Actual Emergency
The Fate of the Stamas Bros is in a precarious position. They are being accused of not being Greek enough! But embracing your cultural heritage is not the reason we are taking over this post. Our mission is about dealing with the fact that the bros have a shortage. But truth be told, they are not alone. There are other kinds of shortages going on right now as well. These shortages include ketchup, semiconductors, chlorine and even empathy.
They Need You!
What is the biggest shortage of the Stamas Bros? It is, well, fans. That is why we of T.S.B.N.M.F.O (The Stamas Bros Need More Fans Organization) have seized control of all sources of Stamas Bros propaganda including the website you are looking at right now! Actually, this site is the only source of bros propaganda, which is part of the problem.
Before Moving Forward, a Few Important Words First
Love, friendship and understanding are all important words, but those are not the words we are talking about.
Think Before Diving.
Before we jump into this chlorine less pool, we feel it is of dire importance to put things into perspective. There’s no question that there are super important battles being won at present for change. Sure, it is on a battle by battle basis, but headway is being made. This transformational undertaking when put side by side with the Stamas Bros makes the bros’ relevancy practically nonexistent. In one of your hands is “the future.” In your other hand is “Stamas Bros Humor.” Which hand do you pick? Don’t answer that!
What is this Whole Stamas Bros Thing Anyway?
Some think that the Stamas Bros website is just a bizarre, self-absorbed, cringe filled online vaudeville act. In all fairness, this website did at one time have a fan base consisting of members of a niche within a niche within a niche. But unfortunately, at this moment, the two brothers known as Stamas Bro Aristotle and Stamas Bro Homer have small ones. We are talking about a small amount of fans!
It Used to Be Bigger
The Stamas Bros have such a tiny amount of those who are into them, that even their own family members are not motivated enough to look at their website for a mere 30 seconds. One family member, in an attempt to show her love of the bros, was willing to go to their blog and take the “S.B. Half a Minute Challenge.” But in less than 20 seconds after arriving at the StamasBros.com homepage, she got distracted by something in her feed. It was a quiz on finding out which “Brady Bunch” character you are most like. Hey, sounds interesting. Anyone got the link?! Actually, no need. I already know I’m most like Greg.
Will the Real Stamas Bros Please Stand Up
So, who does go to website stamasbros.com? The theory is that the only reason the bros have any visitors to their blog at all is because web surfers were searching for a different set of Greek American brothers who also genetically have the right to also call themselves “Stamas Bros.” These Stamas Bros are a lot more famous and successful than those at StamasBros.com. These other “Better Bros” include the Stamas Yacht Bros (Nick and Pete Stamas), the Stamas Pizza/Politics Bros (Sen. Tony Stamas and his brother, Rep. James N. Stamas) or even Wilbur and Orville (if their last name had been Stamas).