A Message from the Stamas Bros

For those you who have been wondering what has happened to Stamas Bro Aristotle and Stamas Bro Euripides, worry not. They are fine. In fact, right now they are bringing you this public services message. Although you can’t see them, they are dressed in green and this has them a bit peeved. Turns out the wardrobe department got the desired outfit wrong. They did not says “green” they said “lean.”

The Bros wanted something that allowed them to reveal their killer LEAN bodies with abs and the obligatory “We’ll tell you how we did it.” They will reveal to you the mysterious food that they took to achieve results. Also, they wanted you to know that if you take testosterone to get more built, this is the wrong ingredient.  There is actually a food that you should be taking instead which if this was a commercial on Youtube we wouldn’t reveal the food immediately forcing you out of curiosity to watch a silly promotional video selling  amazing grass green superfood capsules.

Oops. The writers of the “Bro Show” thought the Stamas Bros wanted a song called “Strike up the Band,” when what they really wanted is a tune entitled  “Kick up the Sand.” It is based on the old Charles Atlas ads you would see in comic books of yesteryear in which a big bully knocks sand in the face of a nerd. The song was a mistake, but to cover up the blunder, the Bros begin lip sinking to “Kick Up the Sand.”

I’M GONNA KICK SAND BACK AT  YOU
AS SOON AS I HAVE A BODY TRUE
YOUR SAND KICKING MAKES ME BLUE
BUT PRETTY SOON I’LL HAVE A PHYSIQUE THAT’S NEW!

A hip hop section ’80’s style starts in the song that forces the brothers to get on their backs and spin.

A brave intern steps into view and tells the brothers the fact that ultimately what they really are supposed to be doing is an important message to those quarantining letting them know that we’ll get through it. But it is too late. The Bros can’t hear the well intentioned volunteer and instead do in succession:

  • The Prep.
  • The Wop.
  • The Biz.
  • The Cabbage Patch.
  • The Snake.
  • The Sprinkler.
  • The Robocop.
  • Oh yeah, and of course the Moonwalk.

 

Shedding Light on the Masked Man

“…A boat pulling into a Bro-esque harbor”

The fans of the Stamas Bros have been contacting us saying they don’t understand the the post before last that Stamas Bro Aristotle did called “Who is that masked man? They wonder what it means and why was it done? Thankfully, I, as the “go between” for the bros, was able to get this statement from Stamas Bro Homer explaining what his brother was trying to say.

“Stamas Bro Aristotle was doing what is known as breaking the 4th wall. This is when a story emerges outside of the confines of circumstance and expectation into something that for the reader is like jumping outside of the box.”

So now that this box jumping has happened once, can it at some later date be safely experienced by the fans? Our answer to this is that we don’t know. There were some incidents that happened when Stamas Bro Aristotle showed us that things were not as they appeared. He is quoted as saying:

“The last thrillisode, or more precisely, Bro-isode, was my attempt to show the fans that my brother and I as the Stamas Bros are more than just a “Monty Python Wanna Be Comedic Nightmare.” We’re not out there trying to be “Something Completely Different.” We are who we are and I felt it was important to whip the curtain back to reveal that there are two Wizard of Oz-es who are pulling the strings. Think of us as a ship pulling into a Bro-esque harbor”

Imagine me, as a Stamas Bro Scribe, responding to Stamas Bro Aristotle’s statement with my mouth wide open and saying, as Tucker Carlson does:

“Thank you for that.”

(Please note that the bros watch to Rachel Maddow too)