Greetings Stamas Bros Fans.
Looking for a way to celebrate your S.B. adulation or maybe you’re just plain bored?!
This is your lucky day! Stamas Bros enthrallment is just an email away (firstname.lastname@example.org).
Send us an email in the next 47.3 seconds detailing 7 reasons why joining the Stamas Bros Fan Club will change your life, and you’ll get printable swag at no cost to you.
You will receive your Stamas Bros Endorsed Ultra Collector’s Fan Club Certificate that is %100 FRAMEABLE (if you print it out (printer, paper and frame not included). And remember it’s FRAMEABLE!
And that’s not all, if you email us in the next 36.5 seconds you’ll also receive your very own Super Secret Cutout Stamas Bros Code Ring that glows in the dark (if you print it out and paint it with luminous paint, paint not included).
But wait there’s more. If you send that email in the next 20.6 seconds you’ll get a second code ring absolutely free!
Can it possibly get any better? Take a deep breath. In the affirmative it can. Simply email us in the next 10.7 seconds and nirvana (not the band) is yours! But this is no regular tired kind of nirvana, this nirvana has been thoroughly tested and approved by the Stamas Bros, and to implement it requires putting the included affirmation phrase on your wall (of course you still need to print it out, and with so much printer activity lately you may want to check the ink). The phrase on your wall to achieve nirvana is…Oops, sorry. You have 0.0 seconds remaining to accept this offer. Reading this last paragraph took just too long.
But don’t fret, even though you’re not going to receive the certificate, two rings and nirvana, you can still be a part of the Stamas Bros experience. Here’s how. Simply join the Stamas Bros email newsletter once it is set up. Though, due to the new GDPR restrictions this could take a while. In the meantime you might want to try saying “Stamas Bros” 9 times really fast. If you’re able to achieve this it’s something you can share with your friends that potentially might make you feel better having mastered a difficult parlor trick. Heck, it’s not a state of enlightenment but it’s still something!